The Q at a Coffee Shop
by GFJBR1982
Summary: Two members of the Q continuum meet to discuss a project and whether or not it could work according to plan.


A Coffee Shop

Tables and chairs with coffee cups, cream and sugar. A kitchen area and counter for brewing and mixing. Not a literal cafe however; merely a construct for the human brain to perceive and attempt to understand the interactions to follow.

Two figures approach a table from opposite sides.

Q1

Hey!

Q2

How are ya!

Q1

Doing well. It's been a while.

They shake hands and sit down. A faceless figure comes by the table and fills their "coffee cups."

Q2

Indeed it has. So how are things progressing? Found some kind of balance between expansion and gravity yet?

Q1

Not quite. The Super Cluster project is showing some promise. But I feel like it's only a temporary solution.

Q2

How temporary?

Q1

Maybe a hundred billion billion average solar years.

Q2 smirks and answers matter-of-factly.

Q2

I guess that's kind of temporary. So what else? That can't be the only thing you've been up to.

Q1

Well there is something actually. It's a smaller project, but I created sentient life the other day.

Q2 chokes on his coffee and responds excitedly.

Q2

Oh my, this is major! This is huge! Ok, come on, let's go, details.

Q1

Nah, I can't give details.

Q2

What? No details? What do you mean?

Q1

I'm not in the mood.

Q2 shows instant irritation.

Q2

You track me down to meet with you. Bring me all the way out here. Tell me you created sentient life, and then say you're not in the mood for details. Now you listen to me. I want details and I want them right now. I've been stuck in that dimensional void for who knows how long. Nothing ever happens, ever. I've got nothing to do, I've got no place to go, you're not in the mood, well you get in the mood!

Q1 chuckles.

Q1

Alright, alright. Well, I was monitoring a nebula.

Q2

Watching the elements.

Q1

Uh huh.

Q2

Hydrogen.

Q1

Yeah.

Q2

Helium.

Q1

Yup.

Q2

Nitrogen, carbon, iron, magnesium.

Q1

Yes.

Q2 smiles with anticipation.

Q2

Ok, go ahead.

Q1

So I'm watching the nebula; things are moving and mixing. And I think to myself, what if I created a sentient species on a small planet somewhere.

Q2

So organic carbon based life.

Q1

Exactly. Ok so for life to evolve to this level they need stable and comfortable conditions.

Q2

And...

Q1

Well there's a little planet I saw that did nicely. It's on a quiet arm of a spiral galaxy, away from all the carnage of black holes, neutron stars, and gamma rays. Lovely place for them to emerge.

Q2

Boy these are kind of lousy details.

Q1

You know I may have outgrown details.

Q2

Geez, don't say that. Tell me more about this planet.

Q1

Oh it's wonderful. As I said it's a small planet, but it sparkles against the darkness like a diamond.

Q2

A diamond huh.

Q1

Yes, its orbit around its star is in a great spot. Not too close and not too far away. The temperatures are quite stable; so stable in fact that there is liquid water on its surface all the time.

Q2

Actually sounds helpful.

Q1

And here's the best part. This planet has its own moon. And it's quite large. So large that it actually stabilizes the axis of rotation of the planet.

Q2

Ok, so what?

Q1

You don't get it. It determines that the planet has a predictable pattern of climate all throughout its orbit.

Q2

So this life you've created has a pretty cushy environment.

Q1

Compared to the vast majority of planets out there... well yeah.

Q2

Ok, this environment, how much water is there?

Q1

Over seventy percent of the planet is covered by water. But there's more than enough dry land and an atmosphere hospitable to carbon based life. And what's really cool, is that there has already been life there for a while.

Q2

A while? So is the ecosystem quite established?

Q1

Oh it's established.

Q2

How established?

Q1

Over four billion of its years, with incredible biodiversity.

Q2

But what about the host star? Solar radiation could destroy any land based life easily.

Q1

That's already all worked out. This planet has a dense iron core that provides an intense magnetic field that deflects a great deal of the incoming solar radiation.

Q2

So you have a sentient species emerging, in a stable environment, with a long running diverse biome, and a strong magnetic field to protect the planet. Huh, that's pretty good. Ok, so what are you feeling now? Is this "little" experiment just for fun so you can watch while the mayhem unfolds?

Q1

Well actually it's more than that. I think that this species will be able to use a system to evolve and thrive to a point where they can essentially become like us; control their environment, branch out, use space to their advantage, and learn the secrets of the Multiverse.

Q2 bursts into hysterical laughter and gets up from the table to calm down and collect himself.

Q1

What?

Q2

Are you even here? Are you existing in this part of the Multiverse? It doesn't work. There is no way it'll happen. Eon after eon, whenever these things pop up, they try to have their cake and eat it too, and you think that you're going to come along and make it happen. It can't be done. Where do you get the ego?

Q1

No, no, no, there is a system. I've developed a set of rules.

Q2 smugly smiles and shakes his head.

Q2

Oh sure, sure.

Q1

No really, these are important factors that they'll use to help them advance and avoid all the major pitfalls that bring these types of beings down.

Q2

Alright fine, tell me the rules.

Q1

Ok, here we go. So you know how "complex" organisms typically have a central point which processes incoming information and controls their behavior?

Q2

Sure, sure.

Q1

Well this species has a unique center. Let's call it a brain.

Q2

A brain?

Q1

Ah what's the difference?

Q2

I suppose it's not important what you call it. Go on.

Q1

You see most organisms experience their environment in a limited way and make associations to deal with their surroundings. It limits their adaptability.

Q2

That's obvious. So what's the difference with your pet project?

Q1

Their brain has a web of structures that allow this organism to interpret its environment in a specialized way. Instead of making associations, their brain creates billions of instant connections, developing what we would call mental images.

Q2

What's so great about that?

Q1

Think about it. Constant mental images allow for exponentially greater recall of information. They can call upon everything they've ever seen or done to help with a situation. In short, the rule is adaptability. Given the time and opportunity, they'll be able to find a way to survive in almost any environment.

Q2

So let me get this straight. As they live and learn, they'll constantly come up with new ways to survive in new environments and situations.

Q1

Not just survive, thrive. I believe that if they play their cards right, they'll be able to shape the planet to fit their needs, while supporting all life.

Q2

That's a slippery position, giving them that kind of potential influence over their home planet. You'd better hope they have a enough sense and foresight to treat their world with respect. As you've seen, these types of beings are usually a bunch of selfish morons, who become a cancerous blight. Alright, not bad though. Give me the next one.

Q1

Ok, rule number two. Behavior is determined by interpreting meaning through experience.

Q2

Well you see, you got greedy.

Q1

No, no, it's a rule.

Q2 huffs in derision.

Q2

I know less about organic life than anyone in the cosmos. But the one thing I do know is that if you allow any one of them to develop ideas about what does this mean? What does that mean? What's the point of this? Where is this all going?, you open up a colossal problem.

Q1

What? Why?

Q2

They will look for meaning in literally everything.

Q1

Why is that such a problem?

Q2

Because, if they end up deconstructing every aspect of their wretched pathetic lives, they're going to end up asking a lot of questions that they won't be able to answer, which will make them come up with all kinds of ridiculous beliefs and theories regarding all kinds of subjects.

Q1

I'm still not following why you're so against this.

Q2

Let me give you an example. As they live out their lives, they're going to wonder, where do we come from? Why are we here? Who is out there? What is beyond this life? And in asking those questions they're going to desperately want to believe that they have a higher purpose than just living and dying on that rock. They'll think that there's a higher being out there responsible for everything.

Q1

But there is.

Q2

But they don't know that. They'll make up all sorts of bogeymen and mythologies to describe their creator, when in fact they won't even be close to the real thing, and that's who they should be thinking of.

Q1

But that's me.

Q2

But they won't know that. Didn't you think that maybe with your rules, that showing yourself or the likes of us to them might be an idea.

Q1

Nah, I want them to find their own way. But really, the likes of us?

Q2

Yeah.

Q1

Well they sure as hell won't be worshipping the likes of you.

Q2

Hey, hey, if a sentient species treated me as their god, they would erect monuments and base their whole lives around me and my power and wisdom.

Q1

Well perhaps it's better for the whole multi-verse that that's not the case.

Q2

Perhaps. So here's another problem. If a species is truly self aware, and they have the ability to derive meaning from their world, at an individual level they'll think that everything revolves around them.

Q1

You're talking about selfishness.

Q2

Exactly. And with potentially millions upon millions of these things roaming around, they're going to pour over the excruciating miniscule detail of every single event of their lives.

Q1

But don't we do that?

Q2

What we do is so different.

Q1

How?

Q2

Are you serious? Their lives have no consequence on the cosmos at large. But in their pathetic little minds they'll be the be all and the end all.

Q1

That just means they'll do as much as they can to make their lives better. Hard work, determination, perseverance.

Q2

That just means they won't think twice about stepping on each other to get what they want.

Q1

Geez, how can you be so negative?

Q2

Negative?

Q1

Yes, negative. You're taking a great idea and sucking all the joie de vive out of it.

Q2

Joie de vive?

Q1

It's a saying, it's from something I think they'll use. It's... never mind. Anyway, what you're doing, it's not helpful.

Q2

I beg to differ. I am being extremely helpful. I'm trying to show you the folly of attempting to invest so much effort into such a silly and doomed enterprise.

Q1

Well I think you're wrong.

Q2

I hope I am.

Q1

How about I give you the third rule.

Q2

If you must.

Q1

This one is very important. It has to do with their lifestyle and how it will play out as they build their species.

Q2

Lifestyle?

Q1

Yes. You see every organic species passes on their genetic material to the next generation. And with it come built in traits and abilities, and certain understandings of their existence. And further, every generation teaches the next the skills they need for survival in order to continue the genetic line.

Q2

That's basic biology. What does that have to do with your rules.

Q1

This point is going to help them immensely. They are going to eventually develop their own system of communication that will help to govern their lives and spread the knowledge they accumulate. I like to call it language. Kind of like what we have, only on a much more primitive scale.

Q2

Ok, that's interesting. But how will that help them avoid self-destruction?

Q1

Their language will extend to every member of their species and will help them avoid making the same mistakes over and over again.

Q2

How's that possible?

Q1

They will record everything they see, everything they learn, everything that happens, everything they want, everything they hate. I'm serious, everything. It'll be called written language.

Q2

So not just on an individual basis, but they'll actually be able to go back on anything that any other one of them will have known, or done, or seen in order to help out and further their chances of survival.

Q1

Glad you're coming around. This rule will give them a sense of a past, present, and future. The overall improvement to their way of life will be enormous.

Q2

I do see the merits of this one, but...

Q1

Oh, here we go.

Q2

You say this is going to be a planet wide species.

Q1

We've established that.

Q2

Ok, different groups will develop over time in different environments on the planet.

Q1

Uh huh.

Q2

Right, well different environments call for different ways of living, which lead to different ways of communicating developing independently of each other. So this "language" that you've talking about is going to undertake many forms, each of which could have their own built in idiosyncrasies.

Q1

Yeah, but you must know that species of this kind all have ways of communicating that similar enough to be able to intersect. The different groups will be able to figure each other's languages out. Remember their not stupid.

Q2

But aren't they. As I said, different languages lead to unique quirks within each one; when these fools start interacting across languages there's going to be a great deal that'll be left up to interpretation. That'll lead to incorrect or incomplete translations, which will lead to misunderstandings, which will lead to conflict, and death and destruction.

Q1

You have to take it to the extreme every time don't you. You see, that's why you're in the dimension that you are. The others have always known that you can't help yourself. You say that the organics have problems; not every form of life is inherently destructive all the time. The whole point of life is to create.

Q2

Ah ha! But with creation comes destruction.

Q1

Yes, but why should the sentient ones be so inherently flawed that every single species unwittingly destroy themselves before they can take the leap into higher levels of existence among the stars. You know like us. Why are we so different? We have destructive, self serving, and vindictive qualities as well.

Q2

You're right about that. But somewhere along the way, whether it was through a developmental process, or it simply came to be, we became what we are now, making those qualities irrelevant. I do see what trying to accomplish here. You're trying to give life forms with destructive tendencies and a limited lifespan, the baseline virtues to help them overcome their obvious and sickening detriments.

Q1

Well hey! At least we agree on that.

Q2

Yeah, it's nice. I still think it's insane.

Q1

Like I said, I think you're wrong.

Q2

Perhaps. But only their version of time will tell.

Q1

Here, here.

They raise their glasses in a "cheers" gesture.

Q2

Boy the service here stinks.


End file.
